Gender identity is a fundamental part of a child’s sense of self, reflecting how they understand and experience their own gender. This can include identifying as a boy, girl, both, neither, or somewhere along a spectrum. Many children today identify as transgender, nonbinary, or gender-expansive, and while awareness of gender diversity has increased, these children still face significant challenges that can impact their mental health, development, and sense of belonging.

One major challenge for gender-diverse children is discrimination and bullying. Those who do not conform to traditional gender expectations are often teased, excluded, or targeted by peers. These negative experiences can occur in classrooms, on playgrounds, in restrooms, and even online. Because bullying can be persistent and severe, many gender-diverse children experience anxiety, depression, or diminished self-confidence. In some cases, fear of judgment leads children to withdraw from social activities or friendships, which limits opportunities for healthy social and emotional growth.

Family acceptance is another crucial factor influencing the well-being of gender-diverse children. Some families fully affirm and support their child’s gender identity, while others may be uncertain, hesitant, or resistant. When a child feels the need to hide who they are at home, the emotional consequences can be serious. Research indicates that sexual minority youth, those experiencing some degree of same-sex attraction, behavior, or identity, report suicidal ideation at rates three times higher than their heterosexual peers and suicide attempts up to five times higher (Lefevor et al., 2020). A lack of familial support can leave children feeling isolated and unsure of where to turn, adding challenges during a critical period of personal development.

Representation is also a major concern. Many children rarely see gender-diverse individuals portrayed in books, classroom materials, or media. Incorporating literature and resources that feature characters with fluid, multifaceted, or nontraditional gender identities can help children understand that gender diversity is normal and valid. Research from Penn State, published in Infant and Child Development, shows that parenting quality, rather than parent gender identity, predicts child outcomes, reinforcing that nurturing practices and supportive relationships are the most important influences on well-being (Tornello, Riskind, & Benson, 2025). When children do not see themselves represented positively, they may feel alone or believe something is wrong with their identity. Positive, realistic representation validates their experiences and helps them understand that they can live happy, fulfilling lives.

Working effectively with gender-diverse children requires a philosophy rooted in respect, compassion, and safety. This begins with honoring each child’s identity by using their chosen name and pronouns and recognizing that gender expression may look different for every individual. Adults should create inclusive spaces that allow children to explore who they are without fear of judgment. This includes learning about gender diversity and applying that understanding in everyday interactions, classroom materials, and expectations. Building trusting relationships is essential, as gender-diverse children need adults who listen, believe, and advocate for them. By challenging stereotypes, speaking up against discrimination, and fostering environments where all children feel valued, educators and caregivers help gender-diverse children grow with pride, confidence, and a strong sense of self. Supporting them in this way ensures that every child has the acceptance, encouragement, and opportunity they deserve.


References: 

- Campbell, M. (2025, November 12). Parenting stress, rather than parental gender identity, predicts child outcomes | Penn State University. Psu.edu. https://www.psu.edu/news/health-and-human-development/story/parenting-stress-rather-parental-gender-identity-predicts-child

- Lefevor, G. T., Park, S. Y., Acevedo, M. J., & Jones, P. J. (2020). Sexual Orientation Complexity and Psychosocial/Health Outcomes. Journal of Homosexuality, 69(1), 1–15. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2020.1815432

- Tornello, S. L., Riskind, R. G., & Benson, L. (2025). Parenting Stress, Rather Than Gender Identity, Predicts Child Adjustment Among Children of Nonbinary and Binary Transgender Parents. Infant and Child Development, 34(5). https://doi.org/10.1002/icd.70051

*** Haven't started recording yet, changed my book since "I am Jazz" was super common for this example. I will now use Julian is a Mermaid. This book has been banned in Florida & Texas. ***  

Community Resource 

Address: 41000 Main Street
Temecula, CA 92590

Phone: (951)878-8052

PFLAG Temecula provides a welcoming space in the community where LGBTQ+ individuals, their families, and allies can find support, resources, and understanding.

Phone: (858)519-9940

 

Empowered Path Clinical Counseling, PC & Bright Futures Together provide supportive counseling and programs that help children, teens, and families explore and affirm gender identity in a safe and understanding environment.

Additional Resources

Batya Greenwald explains in this TEDx talk that kindergarteners quickly learn strict ideas about gender, like “girls do this” and “boys do that.” She shows that these rules are often unfair and based on social myths rather than reality. By having her students write down the gender rules they notice, the children start to see how arbitrary they are and even begin to question them. Greenwald highlights that talking about gender with kids early can help them grow up more open-minded and accepting.